• Home
  • About
  • Music
  • Photos
  • Lyrics
  • Contact
  • Upcoming Events
  • Blank
  • More
    • Home
    • About
    • Music
    • Photos
    • Lyrics
    • Contact
    • Upcoming Events
    • Blank
  • Home
  • About
  • Music
  • Photos
  • Lyrics
  • Contact
  • Upcoming Events
  • Blank

Lyrics

TOO MUCH FUN!

© 1998 Words and Music by Ed Austin


Too much, too much

Too much, too much fun!

Too much (I've never had) Too much (It can't be bad)

Too much (I want to have) Too much fun!


Add two parts rum, one part fun

Everybody's feeling fine

We've come to find romance

We've come to learn to dance

Hey now, where's the conga line?


Too much, too much

Too much, too much fun!

Too much (I've never had) Too much (It can't be bad)

Too much (I want to have) Too much fun!


Got a good bartender, a quiet blender

Got Coronas and a lime

We can't find our shoes

But we can find our booze

Changing the world one drink at a time


Too much, too much

Too much, too much fun!

Too much (I've never had) Too much (It can't be bad)

Too much (I want to have) Too much fun!


Got sun and sand, got a jammin' band

Everyone's come here to play

We might act like fools

We might bend some rules

We might throw all our cares away


Too much, too much

Too much, too much fun!

Too much (I've never had) Too much (It can't be bad)

Too much (It's time to have) Too much fun!


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


I FOUND JESUS ( In the Ocean County Jail)

© 1997 Words and Music by Ed Austin


I said the right line, at the right time to the wrong woman

Then her bartender boyfriend punched me out

I swear I never saw it coming

Then one cop roughed me, one cop cuffed me

They said that I'd be getting ninety days

Well Judge, I saw the light on my first night

Now I've changed my ways


I found Jesus in the Ocean County Jail

I said three Hail Marys and I prayed He'd throw my bail

Judge, it seems so clear now

I want the world to hear how

I found Jesus in the Ocean County Jail


I was scared and drunk, sittin' on the bunk

when they opened up the cell

And these three big guys come stumbling in

They said "Welcome to Hell!"

One was staring at me, one was glaring at me

One's just wiggling his tongue

I got weak in my knees, I said "Dear God please,

I don't want to die this young"


I found Jesus in the Ocean County Jail

I said three Hail Marys and I prayed He'd throw my bail

Judge, it seems so clear now

I want the world to hear how

I found Jesus in the Ocean County Jail


I want to testify, testify testify

I want to testify, testify testify

Judge I'm praying that you're hearing what I'm saying


I found Jesus in the Ocean County Jail

I said three Hail Marys and I prayed He'd throw my bail

Judge, it seems so clear now

I want the world to hear how

I found Jesus in the Ocean County Jail

I found Jesus in the Ocean County Jail


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


NEVER GOING BACK

© 1998 Words and Music by Ed Austin


I'm never, never going back

I'm never gonna pack

'cause I'm never, never going back


Spent the last ten days in the island sun

Working real hard at having too much fun!

Rummin', strummin', staying out all night

I'm planning on missing a morning flight


Maybe the rum and sun have numbed my brain

But there's no way that I'm gonna get on that plane


I'm never, never going back

I'm never gonna pack

'cause I'm never, never going back


Gonna leave my job, I didn't like it any way

I'll find one here, don't care about the pay

Have someone sell my place, sell my car

Send the money down, I owe it at the bar


Boy, it sure got drunk out since I came in here

All of my plans just seem to disappear


I'm never, never going back

I'm never gonna pack

'cause I'm never, never going back


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

THE BATTLE OF THE BURGERS

© 1984  Words and Music by Ed Austin


I want to tell you about the Battle of the Burgers

There may be one in your town

Everybody wants to say that they're the top dog around


So one day Wendy, wicked Wendy

She said "Boys, let's settle this fight.

I think we're gonna have a meat judging tonight."


Everybody's talking 'bout the Battle of the Burgers

They say "Where's the Beef?"

Everybody's squaking 'bout the Battle of the Burgers

I can't get no relief.


So Big Mac, he says "Wendy,

can't you just imagine the fun?

I've got me two beef patties

I've even got me sesame seed buns."


But Whopper, he says "Whoa, Mac,

let the lady check out my flame.

Once a woman's had a whopper she'll never be the same.



Everybody's talking 'bout the Battle of the Burgers

They say "Where's the Beef?"

Everybody's squaking 'bout the Battle of the Burgers

I can't get no relief


So Wendy, she made her judgement

She said "Boy's looks like neither one's on top"

Then she ran off with some salami from the neighborhood butcher shop.


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



IF DOGS COULD TALK

©1996 Words and Music by Ed Austin


Should you let a sleeping dog lie?


I wish that dogs could talk for just one day

I wish that dogs could talk for just one day

I'd want to be there to hear what they'd say

If dogs could talk for just one day.


My dog and I came back from a walk

We both fell asleep and he started to talk

He said "Come over here and give a listen-

I'm gonna tell you humans what you've been missin'"

First thing is I hate to complain

but I've had enough of that Gravy Train.

Take me out on a dinner date

and let me eat what's on your plate."


Then he said "I was hopin'

you could leave the gate wide open.

Gonna meet some friends in the full moon light

We're gonna party down 'cause it's garbage night."

                                            

A pack of poodles, pissed as could be

Says "Get these sweaters off of me.

Gonna go downtown, by some new shampoo

Gonna wear my hair like I want to!"


Retrievers, Collies and St. Bernards

Just runnin' through the neighbor's yards

Diggin', scratchin', passin' bones

Call the Poodle Line on the telephone


Huskies howlin" "Stop that mushin'!

Let me grab a nap on your sofa cushion.

C'mon, let me drive to town -

I'll let you roll your window down."


I wish that dogs could talk for just one day

I wish that dogs could talk for just one day

I'd want to be there to hear what they'd say

If dogs could talk for just one day.


Well, a Doberman lets out a wail

Says "Who says you could cut my tail?"

A Weiner dog says "I agree -

My bark even bothers me."


One more thing, about my sight

I want more than black and white

I don't need much, I don't need a lot

Just one time let me give the Vet a shot


Lassie, Rover, Rin-Tin-Tin

Even Benji's got a big ol' grin

'Cause Fifi, the Poodle's crackin' a smile

Says "C'mon let's do it human style!"


I wish that dogs could talk for just one day

I wish that dogs could talk for just one day

I'd want to be there to hear what they'd say

If dogs could talk for just one day.


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


THE LIGHT

© 2000  Words and Music by Ed Austin


The fishing boats go gliding out the inlet

They pass a statue, lantern in his hand

As they go sliding over the horizon

We pray that they'll soon return to land


When you head out on the ocean

Wherever you may roam

May this light that sees you out

Be the light that brings you home


The sea has always held her secrets

But we on land have always known this fact

As long as men have ventured on the ocean

Not everyone that goes out will come back


When you head out on the ocean

Wherever you may roam

May this light that sees you out

Be the light that brings you home


Every man is someone's brother, father, husband or son

Every man is someone's friend

And every man is hoping as he's leaving

It won't be long 'til he sees home again.


So rain or shine the light is always glowing

Day or night the statue stands alone

Everyone that passes leaves here knowing

The light is always on, come on home


When you head out on the ocean

Wherever you may roam

May this light that sees you out

Be the light that brings you home


May this light that sees you out

Be the light that brings you home


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


BURNED-OUT AT DISNEYWORLD

© 1988  Words and Music by Ed Austin


At a quarter to eight we bounce through the gate

Disneyworld stands straight ahead

One kid's chasing Mickey and one's chasing Goofy

And I'm wishing I'd stayed in bed


Three Cokes later, two trips to the john

We're twenty-five yards from the gate

The Jungleland cruise is an eight minute ride

after only a one hour wait


Burned-out at Disneyworld

Burned out at Disneyworld

It's a quarter to nine, my family is fine

But I'm burned-out at Disneyworld


We hop on the Skyway, the "Transport of the Future"

Walt Disney will show us all how

But we stood in the line snaked around twenty times

Hell, if we'd walked we'd been there by now


One kid wants the Haunted House, says he's not scared

But the little one just won't go in

I swear that I'm gonna rip out my hair

If he mentions Space Mountain again


Burned-out at Disneyworld

Burned out at Disneyworld

It's a quarter to one, it's not too much fun

 I'm burned-out at Disneyworld


The kids wandered off for the fourth time today

I've stopped wondering where they might be

Some Japanese tourists are yappin' away

There snappin' off pictures of me


My wife shot all day with no film in her camera

I think she's beginning to cry

I've been pushed, I been pulled

 I've been bumped, I've been bothered

I'm starting to ask myself why


My car's parked in Pluto, but I forget where

And the Monorail line's a mile long

I'll scream if I hear "It's a Small World" one more time

Man, I hate that damn song


Everyone's tired and sunburned

 All day I've been praying for rain

But when it's all done they say "Wasn't that fun!

And Pops, when can we do it again?!"


Burned-out at Disneyworld

Burned out at Disneyworld

It's a quarter to nine, my family and I've been

Burned-out at Disneyworld

Burned-out at Disneyworld

Burned out at Disneyworld


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

GOIN' FISHIN'

© 1985 Words and Music by Ed Austin


I work a whole lotta hours, pay a whole lotta bills

Never had a load of money, don't suppose I ever will

I never say "No" to that overtime pay

But every Sunday you can hear me say


I'm goin' fishin'

I'm gonna hook into something

Take my mind off the working week

I'm goin' fishin'

But I don't really care if I don't catch a thing


I love my wife and my kids

My dog is the best

But after six days of working I need a day of rest

When church is all over and the chores are all done

My wife says "Honey, go have yourself some fun"


I'm goin' fishin'

I'm gonna hook into something

Take my mind off the working week

I'm goin' fishin'

But I don't really care if I don't catch a thing


Sippin' on a six-pack

Sittin' in the sun all day

I've got a red nose, red arms

Every week it happens

But every week you'll hear me say


I'm goin' fishin'

I'm gonna hook into something

Take my mind off the working week

I'm goin' fishin'

But I don't really care if I don't catch a thing


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


CRAZY ONES

© 2011 Words and Music by Ed Austin


She was way too cute to be in this bar

Short black dress, long blond hair

She was old enough to be lots of trouble

She was young enough not to care


I was minding my business when she bumped up

She was smiling and lit up like a Christmas tree

One minute later she was dancin' on the bar

Why do the crazy ones always find me?


Why do the crazy ones always find me?

Man, I tell you it's a mystery

I should start runnin' when I see them comin'

'Cause the crazy ones always find me

The crazy ones always find me


I could hear that Harley pulling in outside

She was dressed half-leather, half-tattoo

She said "Hey, Big Boy, I'm really thirsty"

I could tell that she was really bad news


I bought her a beer just to be polite

Then her boyfriend walked in, said "What do I see?"

He was six foot - five, gonna kick my ass

Why do the crazy ones always find me?



Why do the crazy ones always find me?

Man, I tell you it's a mystery

I should start runnin' when I see them comin'

'Cause the crazy ones always find me

The crazy ones always find me


She was a silver - haired cougar, she was on the prowl

Dressed in red, turning heads

All the men want to get to know her better

All the women just want her dead


I was the youngest guy in the bar that night 

She slipped her hand on my knee

But she was old enough to be my Mom

Why do the crazy ones always find me?


Why do the crazy ones always find me?

Man, I tell you it's a mystery

I should start runnin' when I see them comin'

'Cause the crazy ones always find me

The crazy ones always find me

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



LEIGH IN LOVE LOOK

© 2010 Words and Music by Ed Austin


She's the prettiest girl, I'm the luckiest guy

She's got that smile that makes me sigh

That Leigh in love look really does it for me


Her eyes light up and she starts beaming

My head gets light, it's like I'm dreaming

That Leigh in love look really does it for me


She won't believe me 'cause she's never seen it

It's never in her mirror

But I see it every time I'm near her

Baby, I mean it


She doesn't know what she does to me

She's got that glow that goes right through me

That Leigh in love look really does it for me



She won't believe me 'cause she's never seen it

It's never in her mirror

But I see it every time I'm near her

Baby, I mean it


She doesn't know what she does to me

She's got that glow that goes right through me

That Leigh in love look brings out that 'Me in love look'

That Leigh in love look really does it for me


---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


FOOL'S BLUES

© 1982  Words and Music by Ed Austin


Baby, I got your letter this morning

You don't know how it hurt me so

I'd hoped for some words of loving

Tell me Honey, how was I supposed to know

That you'd tell me you don't love me

You'd leave me no choice but to go


I thought about it

Said it don't matter much to me

No sir, my name is Ed Austin

And I can have plenty of women, just wait and see

But then I looked in my mirror

I saw the lonliest man that could ever be


You know, one side of me says

"Eddie, you are a fool to love that woman"

The other side of me says

"Eddie, you'd be a fool if you ever let that woman go"

But both sides say 'Eddie, you're a damn fool!" 

And both sides are right, I know


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


BETTER LATE THAN NEVER

 © 1993 Words and Music by Ed Austin


I was my father’s first, I had his name


But I don’t think we ever thought the same


I was freedom, and he was discipline


He’d be getting up while I was getting in.


 


I know he thought I never had a plan


I was still a boy, even as a man


Though we loved each other it was so hard to say


It wasn’t till his final years we made our peace


Then he passed away.


 


Dad, I’m sorry for the heartache I know I’ve put you through


I’ve been a disappointment and your hurt I can’t undo


So much time has slipped away I’m afraid it’s gone forever


He said “Son, it’s better late than never”.


 


I became a father in the fall of ‘82


And I confess, I never had a clue


I was always working nights and worthless in the days


Far too quick to criticize, and too afraid to praise


 


I did the best I could, but it was not enough


I can’t deny I ran away when things were tough


And though we love each other it’s so hard to show


Now he’s in his teenage years, we try again


It’s steady, but it’s slow


 


Son, I’m sorry for the heartache I know I’ve put you through


I’ve been a disappointment and your hurt I can’t undo


So much time has slipped away I’m afraid it’s gone forever


He said “Pops, it’s better late than never.”


 


And I loved what I lost


But I love what I’ve found


I can’t forget the cost


To turn my world around


 


 


I was forced to go to church, a time I came to hate


And on my own I spent my Sunday mornings sleeping late


I was sure the Lord knew I’d fallen off the track


And since he’d seen what I’d been through he’d never want me back


 


Just when I’d been swallowed by the night


I saw one hand reaching out, one hand with a light


And I knew He still loved me, though I’d been far away


With a gentle touch He cleared the debt I could never pay


 


Lord, I’m sorry for the heartache I know I’ve put you through


I’ve been a disappointment and your hurt I can’t undo


So much time has slipped away I’m afraid it’s gone forever


He said “My Son, It’s better late than never”.


 


It’s true…


And you can know that peace


It’s better late than never 


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


CHRISTMAS IS OVER (NOW I WANT SPRING!

© 1994  Words and Music by Ed Austin



There’s a gently falling snow, we’ve got no place to go


It’s Christmas night by the fire


We’re toasty as can be, snuggled ‘round the Christmas tree


Hear the carols from the choir


 The kids are all asleep, the presents put away


It’s everything you’d want from the Holiday


Christmas is over…now I want Spring!



 I want Spring!


Don’t want the Winter, send back the snow


Don’t like the ice or when the cold winds blow


Christmas is over…now I want Spring!


 

Stow away those snow blowers,


Limber up those lawn mowers


Open the windows, turn off the heat


Send the trash and the tree on out to the street


Christmas is over…now I want Spring!


 


We’ve enjoyed those shiny icicles,


Now let’s enjoy those ten-speed bicycles


I’ve had enough of ribbons and wrappers


I want to hear robins and see backyard nappers


Christmas is over…now I want Spring!



 I want Spring!


Don’t want the Winter, send back the snow


Don’t like the ice or when the cold winds blow


Christmas is over…now I want Spring!


 

I’ve finally shopped all of the malls


Made all of the family calls


I’ve been decked, I’ve been jingled


I’ve been Bing Crosbyed and Kris Kringled


Christmas is over…now I want Spring!


 I want Spring!


Don’t want the Winter, send back the snow


Don’t like the ice or when the cold winds blow


Christmas is over…now I want Spring!


Christmas is over…now I want Spring!


 Well…maybe one last log…



Copyright © 2023 Ed Austin - All Rights Reserved.


Powered by GoDaddy Website Builder